I never thought I’d be in a trade school of any sort and practicing massage for a living was not something I’d even considered. That being said, the sequence of events that lead me here must have been divinely orchestrated, because I certainly would not have asked for this to be my story to tell. But I can honestly say, I’m glad that it is.
Some years ago, while living in New England, I was introduced to holistic healthcare and a few of the modalities that accompany this vast arena, like massage therapy, nutrition and reiki. The gravitation toward natural health and sustainable ways of living was very intrinsic for me and while I didn’t have any clear indications of health issues at the time, they slowly began to surface shortly thereafter.
The West Coast was calling and I ended up moving to sunny San Diego, California in 2013. It was here that I gradually came to terms with a number of health issues that were miraculously springing up like weeds all at once. I was a thirty-year-old graduate student, working at a coffee shop, attempting to start my own business and felt as though I was failing miserably at life. I was not where I thought I’d be at that point and the better part of my ego was giving me an incessant beating day in and day out.
A downward spiral ensued and the list of ailments accumulated to the point that my psyche became involved and I dove into a deep depression that lasted well over a year. Some initial symptoms that arose were a lack of energy and an inability to process food; everything I ate was going right through me and I wasn’t absorbing any of the nutrients I was putting into my body. This most certainly had an impact on my brain chemistry, as the gut is the second brain and has a significant influence on all of our bodily functions.
I was able to utilize the little education I had in the realm of nutrition and expand on it in order to deal with my intestinal issues (gastroenteritis and duodenitis). I went on a strict vegan diet, began taking probiotics daily and quit drinking alcohol. The dramatic lifestyle changes that were necessary in order to remedy the condition without drugs was demanding, but well worth it and now I am able to enjoy a more diverse diet and even have a drink now and then. Although, I don’t really have a desire for those things very often now anyway – go figure!
The issue that has been the most prevalent and caused more chronic pain than I ever could have imagined was in my pelvis though, and to this day doctors have not been able to diagnose or treat it.
I cannot count the number of physicians I’ve seen or the amount of money that has gone into trying to resolve this ailment. I was determined though, and part of me also knew that I had to heal myself… I just wasn’t sure exactly what that looked like. I traveled to India and saw a physiotherapist there who manipulated my spine every day for a month and brought me to tears each time. While working in Thailand I visited a massage therapist as often as I could; it was one of the only forms of therapy that brought me relief aside from my yoga practice and kept me from having to consume pharmaceuticals in order to cope with the pain.
For an entire year I visited an osteopath, chiropractor and acupuncturist on a weekly or biweekly basis. While all these forms of therapy were helpful, none had proven to offer long term, sustainable results and were simply a means to an end in order to cope with the pain that I couldn’t seem to get to the root of.
In the United States I found a doctor who diagnosed me with hip dysplasia and said that the only cure was to have surgery. So, after years of chronic pain and no progress, I was open to almost anything and surgery was way less scary than drugs or living with this pain forever. I went under the knife only to realize months later, upon healing, that all my symptoms were returning and the surgery didn’t change a thing.
Back to the drawing board, yet again. Instead of beating myself up because I’d made the wrong choice or getting pissed at the medical system and doctors for failing me over and over, I said to myself: “Oh, well. I tried. What now?”. This was a significant indicator that larger lessons were at work here and the universe was trying to tell me something. Prior I had allowed the overwhelm of negativity take over and consume my thoughts and perspectives. At this point, I came to realize that that mentality wasn’t serving me and all I could do was keep trying.
Fast forward to now.
I’m enrolled at Healing Hands School in the Massage Therapist and Holistic Health Practitioner program. I’m also interning with the Egoscue Institute and for the first time I am seeing a dramatic shift in my pelvic region that is lasting longer than a few days. I have a significant reduction in the pain and popping I had been experiencing and for the first time I feel like I am in control of my health and my body.
The moral of the story: I learned something from my illnesses. And while it may not be entirely “cured” yet, I am well on my way to a healthier, happier self as a result of my education and the empowerment that accompanied it. Knowledge is power and one day I will be sharing my skills in order to inspire and help others who are in pain and seeking a way out. Every problem we face is a lesson to be learned and we get to decide how to approach that problem. There is always a way out and more often than not we are the ones standing in our own way.
